Then vs Then
Will life ever not surprise me? When I see pictures of yesteryear will I ever think of playing in mud because it was mud. Instead of thinking playing mud was what girls did then. Ah, then. Some of us are of an age that then often times seems like it was so much better because bread was .25 a loaf, or gas was .49 a gallon. But! Yes, another side of that “but.” There was still war and poverty and we still had to take and pass a government class before we could graduate high school.
Not sure about you, but I like looking back. Occasionally. I say if you take time and look back and don’t learn something you didn’t know, you are looking back through rose colored glasses. Albeit that rosier glow does keep seeing only the happy times at most of our pasts. Like that bread being twenty-five cents a loaf. When it was on sale it was 5 loaves for a dollar! But working as a shoe sales man, that guy was in heaven if he could make $5.00 an hour. A whopping $200.00 a week. In 1960 $5.00 an hour was a king’s wages. Okay maybe just a court jester. Because minimum wage took a leap in 1960 from $1.10 to $1.25 an hour. Which brings me to the reason of this week’s words of fun and frolic. Long, long friendships.
Do you have a very long-time friend? Maybe from five or ten years ago? Not someone that you only think of, someone that you see, if just occasionally. Like once a year or two? I would like to know who has the oldest dearest friends. I have one that I have known since grade school. I am going to say since like third grade. That would make us friends for—let’s see. Adding 6, divide by 8 carry the 12. Let’s round it off to 60 years. I thought that was amazing. I still do. There are of course longer friendships according to Mr. Googley Eye. One is recorded at 93 years. Many people talk of friendships of 20 to 25 years. HA! Lightweights!
Friendships go through all the things of life but there is one huge difference between your lifelong friend and your lifelong relatives. Pretty sure you have heard this before. You get to choose your friends, but your relatives are tied to you by blood—and you often find that bloodline is muddled and muddied. The friendship line, at least in my case, has had some bubbles of turmoil, but it was when we were kids and it might last a day or two. Then the Barbies or jacks came out and all was right with the world again. OH, with family. Well, it is absolutely true, “Nobody can kill yak, like your family can kill yak.” Uh, metaphorically speaking of course.
Looking back at your actual then and comparing it to how you remember then, is a unique thing. As the humans we are, we tend to only see the cool stuff. I remember watching my mom braid my grandmothers really long silvery hair. It was so pretty and took my mom a long time. Now from her standpoint, she was expected to braid her month-in-law’s hair. After she washed it and took care of the woman. It was what was done then. My comparison of then to then and her then to then would be the difference between and my somewhat wonder filled and her somewhat torturous. Trust me I too had a mother-in-law. But that is such another story, book, documentary, movie of the week. Moving on.
The last little look at then vs then is about those who left us. Who scampered off to the great beyond. Those who got out of this life before you and I. Those in our lives that have died. I just have never liked any word connected with dead. It’s part of the life cycle thing though. After 43 years my other half took that trip. I have always said I was happier for him than I was sad for me. That is still true. Then my friend asked me something thought provoking.
She asked me if I can feel his presence. Is he always around? I, honestly had to say no. Ok I think of him but I don’t feel what was then. Next, she says to me, “Can you feel your mom around you?” Oh, my stars, YES! She is always there. I hear here when I talk. When I zip by a mirror and catch a glimpse of me/her. She is especially there when I make milk gravy. Telling me to put all the liquid in at once. Of course, he is there too-thanking me for listening to my mother way back then…
Trina lives in Diamond Valley, north of Eureka Nevada. Contact her at itybytrina@yahoo.com
